Dazing Into Storms

“I love you” Selene once told me. I didn’t understand the words then, but it made me feel a certain way. I began going behind her back just to hear the words some more. I didn’t care back then. When Selene fell to the ground screaming, wondering why I did what I had done, I didn’t care at all. It wasn’t as if I meant too much to her anyways. Looking back, she was the only one who ever cried in front of me. The realization was horrible. She said and meant those three words, not just saying it so the sex was better. That was years back though, not much I could do about the fact. I wish I hadn’t tried either. After that realization, I went back to my typical life. I’d drink my cares away and regret it the next morning until I did it again. When I went into the bar though, I saw somebody. She was turned away, but I could clearly feel the familiarity. The long, luscious hair. Her dress was fluffy and frilly, just as she had always loved them to be. It was her. I ran towards her with immense anticipation.

”Selene!” I exclaimed as I wrapped my arms around her.

”Get off me, creep!” The girl squealed and I was surprised by the reaction. I looked up and saw that it was, in fact, not her at all. She didn’t have lilac hair or the clothing I could’ve sworn I saw before. I quickly apologized to the girl and she seemed concerned, but overall understanding. I didn’t understand how that could’ve happened. I hadn’t drank anything yet, and I knew I wasn’t high. I convinced myself it was an honest mistake and continued to the bar. I took a seat by the bums that always sat there.

“Hey Josh” I said as I sat next to my closest drinking buddy.

“What’s up, Tupã?” He asked, concern growing in his voice. “You don’t look so hot.”

“Family issues” I mumbled, not completely off. We had a family gathering recently and it turned out to be more of a family argument. Thanks mama, you’ve officially reminded me of how crappy my sober life really is. Josh nodded and kindly bought me a beer. I thanked him then began to drink. He eventually took his leave and I was left thinking to myself. The more I thought, the less I thought it was actually Josh. Even more concerning, I started doubting if the bartender was the bartender. When I looked back on the memory, all I could see was Selene. Her long, black lashes covering her eyelids as she twirled her straw in the mug. The pace of her movement feeling so elegant as I was approached by a drink. It felt as if that girl was everywhere. I suddenly didn’t feel so good, more emotionally than physically. I just knew she was here, I could almost feel her presence. I turned around to leave the building. I didn’t even feel tipsy, but my mind refused to be free of her. When I turned around though, a car crashed into the building. Screaming. I just wanted to close my eyes and feel alright, but my fate wouldn’t allow it. I opened my eyes to see that everyone had taken a step back from the car. It seemed that they were all alright except they were all surrounding the hood, in shock. I still wanted more than anything to leave, but I could’ve sworn I heard Selene begging me to stay. I pushed through the crowd until I saw the front of the car. There she was. It was truly her. She didn’t look as how I had pictured her before. Her beautiful dress had been ripped and torn, stained by mud. On a closer glance, the mud on her clothing was mixed with blood. The same blood that had somehow escaped her mouth as well. Her lilac hair seemed to be more tangled and pulled now. I stood, staring at the body. I must’ve been in the same exact amount of shock as everyone else surrounding, if not more. It must’ve been more, since I ended up breaking the silence. Tears starting pouring down my face as I knelled to her level. I hugged her one last time, though it was obvious she wouldn’t reciprocate it. Before I knew it, sobs turned into screams.

“Selene!!” I strained my voice saying. “Selene! No! I’m sorry! It should’ve been me! You don’t deserve this! I’m sorry!” Everybody continued to stare, not doing a damn thing about her death. They just stared and stared. I decided to look up at them to beg someone to call police. When I opened my mouth though, I noticed they all seemed to have changed. It seemed their mouths drooped into a natural frown and their eyes had met a huge battle with crust. Maybe a better way to say it is, it seemed they were corpses themselves. I didn’t care at this point, I begged for anyone to help her. They all took a step away from me as yet another car came crashing through the building. I could clearly see the driver this time though, as they stuck their head out to yell at me.

“You were right!” Selene yelled from inside the car. “It should’ve been you!”